One of the things we are responsible for ultimately is where we choose to give our energy.
If we consider our energy being money, it’s interesting how differently we would treat our experiences.
For me, I have a LOT of energy. I have a lot of passion and enthusiasm for many things. This, as all things has it’s own life of polarity, that to which I get reminded of constantly. On one side of the coin, I find myself in the most incredible situations and on the other side, I can get very disappointed with how things play out.
If we use the analogy of spending, this can be illustrated quite easily. You spend your money on something that you think you want, an experience lets say. You have weighed up all the elements of this experience and feel pretty confident, certain in fact that this is going to bring you the desired outcome. Exhilaration, adventure, a sense of mystery and FUN. With all of this in mind, you have negotiated mentally what this is worth and spend according to the promise of this event being all you want it to be. In this instance, we are happy to part with the money, we are certain that this will bring us all the feelings that we hoped for.
So what happens when our expectations are left unmet?
I’ve done this many times and something that ALWAYS guarantees this situation playing out is a day at the races. The amount of money and time spent on a new outfit, ticket to special access and all the trimmings that go with it. Mostly, you’re out of pocket over $500. Almost always, the day is a complete bore. It’s just people standing around, waiting for something to happen, but the actual thing they are waiting for, is happening. It’s just plain boring. Needless to say, I’m never in any hurry to attend the races anymore. I’ve learnt from experience after experience that no matter how fabulous it sounds, it’s really fucking boring. I mean, I don’t even like horse racing so go figure what I was ever thinking.
When this occurs we become resentful of the amount we invested. We feel ripped off, deflated and angry. Angry at ourselves for buying into something that did not deliver what it was supposed to. We reflect on what we have spent and grow increasingly annoyed at where that money could have been better spent.
The unfortunate thing here is, this is completely out of our control. Our problem was right from the beginning, we had an expectation and we placed a bet on this being the winning outcome. The outcome however didn’t even make it to the finish line and we are left licking the wounds of our unmet expectations.
The problem continues, because it doesn’t stop here. What we then tend to do, is spend so much of our energy and time on feeling annoyed and let down. We continue to be angry at the situation which in fact, if we continue with the analogy, spending more and more money on the disappointment.
We are now in a complete cluster fuck of misspent money, resentment and frustration building and festering. We have now spent over $1000 on frustration. More than what the original expenditure was.
So the key here is, cut your losses. Don’t give it anymore money, put it down to a shit day and move on. This is actually the hardest thing to do however, like all things, practice makes perfect.
I have very recently started to become more responsible with the level of energy that I expel to different things. For me, people are an incredibly fascinating and enjoyable part of life and this is where I tend to spend a lot of my energy. Where the glitch happens here, is if I spend a lot of money on a person based on my perception of them, and they don’t live up to what I wanted.
Completely arrogant, extremely unfair and all my fault.
It also highlights to me that if I’m going to make a gamble on something and decide to spend my energy on a person, then I am responsible for that, not the person I’m investing my energy in.
It also shows me that just because I see something incredible in another person and want to make that investment, there is no obligation for that person to have to meet my level of expectation. Mostly, they don’t because, I forget CONSTANTLY, people are human and they do human things like, get scared, act up and do not respond to life the same way you do or want them to.
It sucks, it’s disappointing but all that is left is to lick your wounds and know for next time.
Pure imagination can sometimes disappoint. Seeing life in this magical way can have its beauty but it’s my responsibility to not push that beauty beyond where it can exist, when you push that hard, you see the opposite and if you are not ready for the opposite then you are in for a rude awakening…………