What has occurred to me lately is the discomfort people have when they are faced with another who openly shares and expresses their emotions.
Just last week I put a video on Instagram supporting my last blog and I was met with messages from a few people asking if I needed help. In the video, I cried. I cried because I couldn’t believe where in life I was holding myself back. The relief I had when I realised this was a pattern I had been playing out my whole life felt emotionally charged and my body wanted to respond to that.
The thing is, I cry all the time! I cried today because I saw the most gorgeous little baby in a pharmacy. I stopped and chatted to the parents. He was born on Friday and they had waited 9 years to have him and it cost them half a house. I had tears streaming down my face because I wondered how that baby would feel knowing just how much he was loved and wanted. I cried because I could feel the love and my body wanted to respond to that. My lovely friend Pete and I laughed about how we cry at coffee adverts! There is nothing wrong with crying!
When I am sad, I let myself be sad. When I am happy, I let myself be happy. When I am angry, I let myself be angry. I let my body respond to all of these things. I am a passionate human being by nature and they way I see it, if any of these parts of me are suppressed, eventually all of me will be. If I don’t let the anger have a place in life, how can it reveal the fear that is underneath it and therefore freedom that comes from releasing it? I won’t be able to give myself the pleasure that expression of emotions can bring and therefore I will live a very empty, very suppressed life.
Happiness does not enter your life, it is revealed in your life. When we refuse to acknowledge the very things that prevent that happiness from being revealed, guess what?
You prevent the happiness.
It is the emotions, and the acknowledgment of these emotions that help us to shift through what we are feeling or experiencing, and allow us to reveal the freedom that is beyond it.
So why, when we have an expression of emotion, do we as a society suggest that there is something “wrong”?
Any man reading this will agree with me, if you were to told you can’t masterbate with the intent of ejaculation, you would go crazy! Am I right? Well guess what….. For a woman to not express her emotions, it has the same outcome!
WOMEN ARE EMOTIONAL CREATURES AND IF WE CAN’T FREELY EXPRESS THIS, WE GO CRAZY!
To varying levels but the same outcome, we will go crazy if we don’t have the freedom to let our emotions be felt and expressed.
There is so much power and freedom in this. It is necessary for us to live a healthy, balanced emotional and physical life. The beauty of this is, when we do finally get the chance to express our emotions without judgment or withdrawal of love and support….. We move through the emotion really quickly. The same as when a man ejaculates…. We then think, feel and express ourselves in a much more balanced and harmonious way.
Think about this, if there was a massive storm, would you say…
“There is something wrong with the weather, I need to fix it and if it doesn’t stop I will withdraw my love and support for it?”
No! You would simply say, wow, this is a huge storm, I will watch it until it passes.
Same goes for a person expressing and sharing emotions. You just watch it until it passes. There is nothing you need to do, say or be, just allow the person to be free from judgment, ridicule and suppression.
Some peoples purpose in life is their work. We can forgive and understand certain behaviours because, we know, they have a big job to do and a stressful career so this is ok. Others might invest their lives in a more physical purpose. They work hard building their bodies and we don’t question that they need to eat carbs here, get their heart rates up to there etc etc.
My purpose in life is working on my emotional self and decoding the purpose of life. I am a professional when it comes to myself and the way I work. I know that I am a highly emotional person with a very high level of emotional intelligence. That requires me to constantly be working on giving myself the highest level of attention to my personal needs, which thankfully I have the capacity to do. It also means that a high level of emotional intelligence can’t exist without a LOT of emotions! For me to allow one to flourish I need to embrace the other! One of those things is allowing myself to feel when I feel and share those feelings if I believe it necessary.
There is nothing wrong with this, it is strong, it is healthy and it is essential.
Be mindful, that people who do not have the chance to express the things that drive them in life, will become very hurt, very ill and very limited human beings. Just because you can’t understand it, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with someone. Give people the space to be who they are! See vulnerability and a healthy expression of emotions as necessary for health and wellbeing. When you see someone with an unhealthy expression of this…. realise that they have been limited, they have been shamed and it’s coming out no matter what! Give that person a safe place of expression and watch them flourish!