I understand, love and respect the teachings of embracing sexuality, deepening acceptance and finding a sense of liberation through this. What I am starting to see however is an overuse of sexuality as a hook for “awakening”.
I am by no way a prude but I would like to point out that there is a sacredness to this practice and I feel like there are some places where the lines are being crossed. Yes I get that you have felt crippled, we all have. But I would also like to point out that we are in an era where sexuality is highly toxic. Women, I don’t believe, have ever been MORE objectified and I don’t think it helps now to use our Goddess work as another area to be objectified. I feel that the message can be sent with more gusto, more love, more liberation and still be sacred.
Are we afraid that our feminine will not be taken seriously without a candid display of what we are capable of? Do we need to “perform” to have our voice and be in our purpose? Do we need to prove the power of our femininity or can we exquisitely Be it?
I’ve had to feel really deeply into it, allow it to download and feel into the different areas of it. Really checking in to see if this is about my shame. Being raised a catholic, and a catholic female no doubt has seen it’s own manifestations of sexual guilt. I have played both sides of the scale, the part that has locked down and denied and also the one that has been toxic and exploited myself so I feel I come from a pretty firm authority on the conversation.
I feel disappointed. I feel like yes, this is an important area for us to speak about however, there is a very big distance between exploitation and sacredness. I get the whole sacred prostitute, I get the empowered sexual acknowledgment but I want to point out the important piece here, sacredness.
I adore being adored. I love nothing more than to be with a man who is completely in awe of me. It doesn’t happen as frequently as I would like but it is so incredible when it does happen. I get swept up in it. I play with my power and test the boundaries. But I do so with complete respect and love for the other person. I do it with authenticity and honouring.
There are many practices that I have. Some of them I allow men to witness, but some of them are secret womens business that is so divine, so precious, that it is only for my sisters to share. There are times when I let my eccentric, wild Woman roam free, however some parts of her are also very sacred. I share it in a space where it is understood, respected and celebrated.
We as women have been so heavily bound through the ages. It is a fucking privilege to be living in this day and age as a woman. I feel such a privilege being a woman full stop. The truth is however, I don’t want to be limited to my sexuality. I want to embrace it, as much as I want to embrace all the parts of my femininity. My strength, my intuition, my fear, my vulnerability, my authority, my sensitivity, my shyness, my boldness, my courage, my irrationality, my wisdom, my naivity. It’s all there, it all has a place but there needs to be a very strong discipline surrounding where I am expressing and where I am being needy of validation.
I am such a validation junky. I thrive on external validation and it is something I struggle with every day. Finding a healthy balance between external and internal validation is a tightrope that some days I feel completely balanced on and other days I struggle to maintain my footing. I am so selective of what I put out to the world, always making sure it is coming from the right place. The battle playing into my addiction of overthinking.
Another area that I struggle with is acknowledging my own authority. There are some areas where I am absolutely on the money, and other areas where I am completely wrong. Both of these areas I find equally hard to accept. If I’m incorrect about this, I will gladly put my hand up however I feel I have played with it long enough to know that I am looking at it enough from all areas to understand what is occurring.
I am coming from a place of deep acknowledgment of who I am and my role as a representation of healthy femininity. I have no desire to shut down another woman’s voice but I owe it to my sisters to also call out the crap when I see it. It is my responsibility to call out when something is leaky as fuck and disguising itself as empowerment.
Ladies, STOP USING YOUR SEXUALITY AS A WAY TO GAIN POWER! Sexuality is not a currency. It is not to fall victim to the current limitations of our consciousness. Sexuality and having that part of our being is so important. Exploiting it and using the paradigms of “spirituality” is your ego having a field day. Sacredness is SACREDNESS! There are few people that understand this to the levels that can receive and respect what you are sharing. It is your duty to guide people to those levels but not use them as a way to lift your personal profile, make money, create a brand! If you want to play in those realms, play in them. Immerse yourself in them, do what needs to be done but for goddess’ sake, DO NOT DO IT IN THE NAME OF THE FEMININE RISING. See that you are an influence and your influence is causing confusion. Women have NOT gone through so much to be limited to this expression.
I don’t want to see more “spiritual” workers draped over beds, touching themselves, dancing provocatively. That is for sacred temple business. Sacred women’s business and one that requires strict boundaries, consent and safety. You are still the little girl wanting daddy’s validation. You are still coming from a place of hopelessness. Do you fear you won’t have a place in this world if you aren’t sexy enough? Do you only see sensuality and sexiness as sex? Do you only see it as valid if it is in-your-face? Can you stretch your imagination further outside this limiting viewpoint and see that sexuality and sensuality can be powerful without having to force arousal. Who are the predators here? What are you playing into? Forcing images of you touching your bodies and sharing your intimate practices is sexual abuse. If you so desperately need to share it and have it validated, consider a closed group to play out the voyeurism that you are disguising with empowerment. There are forums, apps, channels where you can play with that. If you want to play in those realms, call it what it is and stop hiding behind the sacred veil of consciousness.
There is a woman I absolutely adore. She has the most incredible balance of this. Her name is Isis Leeor. Look her up, follow her guidance if you aren’t sure how it looks and here is a remarkable expression of sexuality in the feminine rising. I won’t speak for her however I will share what her words mean to me. She acknowledges sensuality and sexuality as the old Italian woman who laughs with the gusto of her being. THIS is a woman that deserves the title of Goddess. She is not trying to fit a brand, she is not pushing courses and services down our throats. She is sharing her voice and standing in her truth with no agenda for taking something. This is a conscious practice. This is the rising of the feminine.
Maya Angelou, SEXY SEXY SEXY SEX! She knew it! It was in the reach of her arms, the span of her hips, the stride in her step, the curl of her lips. Read her poem Phenomenal Woman. It is my favourite piece of literature and she completely encompasses everything that is woman. She doesn’t need to expand on it and there is no question of absence of sexuality here. She is dripping in it. You can taste the very essence of her sexuality and there is nothing objectifying about it. It is expansive and free. It can be done.
We are dangerously close to coming full circle ladies. We have not gone through so much as the collective feminine to fall victim to exploitation of power. Feminine sexuality is power. It is scary how powerful it is and we can use that power wisely and with dignity. We can integrate it very well into society without taboo and without judgement. They can sit at the throne together. We are not here to control people through sexuality. We can unite, combine and grow through pleasures and we can certainly invite our men and women to share this with us however we are not so void of power that we need to abuse ourselves to gain it. Step into your power and feel into your hearts. We have enough shit to wade through, we don’t need to keep adding to the struggle.
As a final consideration I want to reach out to all of the people out there working for the collective awakening.
IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO AWAKEN OTHERS!!!
Awakening is up to the individual. Your job is to hold space and offer guidance IF it is needed. You do not have the power over any soul’s ascension. There are some souls in this world who’s purpose is to live life. They don’t need to awaken because that is not their journey. If you think your purpose is to awaken others, sorry to say, this is EGO.
And for people out there looking for guidance. Be discerning with who you decide to work with. I have known many people who are self educated in healing who do so without mentors. They are dangerous as they do not have the grounding to hold space for what is needed. This is super delicate business that is for very specialised people that have dedicated years to their craft. You wouldn’t go to a high school teacher for open heart surgery. Choose your therapists well. Listen to what they are saying. Are they telling you they can fix you, help you? This is the number one red flag. A real healer won’t fix you. A real healer knows that nothing is broken. A real healer knows that there is simply a process that you need to move through and they are present for this part of your journey to illuminate YOUR path, nothing more.
And for my sisters out there that are confused with how they should be. Let your heart guide you. If you don’t feel comfortable with something, honour your boundaries. Do not feel you have to fit a mould of being overly sexual to be a woman. Be the old Italian woman! Find your own essence and dedicate your feminine to yourself.